how to....how to....how to....leave me speechless.
on today's agenda: me, moi, miriam, for a change.
but no "how to...be miriam"-entry. i'd never suggest anything like that, for your own safety.
but an entry about miriam, moi, me and my surrounding. and how i finally ended up speechless on my personal anniversary of still being alive [i of course always flirted with the figment of the imagination "live hard, die young with 27", like all big stars, until i found myself in a totalled car in the middle of the new zealandian pampa on april 16, 2007. fuck yeah, i'm alive!].
usually in advance to april 16: melancholic depressions in front of the philosophical mirror image: "who am i?!" is the question i ask, "no one with a social network which would keep her from thinking she's not worth being celebrated!" the expected answer.
each year, usually, i tend to multiply those futility thoughts about my existence with a struggle against my beliefs, the ones of an incoherent identity, and end up going to bed on april 15 with the question "what sense does life have, if i, apparently, always stay the same?!
shouldn't life be sort of a progress, development, expansion?" but as much as i grow, and i grew pretty tall so far!: there never seems much difference to the years when i didn't know of self-reflection and philosophical mirror images....
- and although not knowing of the power of representation then, i always liked to dress up and bewitch my surrounding...
- i still am the same bigmouth and brayer.
- every once in a while i end up with flowers in my hairs....
- and obviously, i never reacted differently to black rocks than undressing myself.
- for sure i always tended to give strange looks, esp. if i don't get proper food.
- although i changed the wheels, i still enjoy going for an occasional ride...
- and of course it's nothing new that i love both, music, and big poser shades to hide behind!
- my company never really changed, too: tripping away, mentally and physically, and thinking that somewhere beyond that horizon, mentally and geographically, lies the answer for a better future...
- and finally, with y'all being witnesses: i still enjoy writing, although my nose, yes, changed a lot.
now: is my nose really the only thing that changed over the years?
and, even more important: will it continue to be the only thing developing and expanding during another year in life? let's ask some serious professionals about progress, future, me. tell me, oracle, what do you see for the future of the progressive miriam?
well well KT. you tell me some interesting things. big career changes? - working on it. group efforts, hopes & wishes? - jaja. friends help my dreams come true? - i guess so! taking care of my health? - KT....you just don't know all what you are talking about. get a lesson about the real aries first!
right, esther, got it. not only you show how i like to take care of my health, but you know laughing is especially healthy. but let's ask another self-ironic person, salvatore, just to make sure...
...tennis, hoover dancing, scuba? i don't think you are talking about me, gigolo!
- i should rather trust those who don't eat roses, but prickles for dinner....
have we met before, miss charlotte? do you happen to live in my antique wardrobe [yes, my color is black, real black] by any chance?! and as you obviously secretly watch how i make myself look irresistibly stupid, and how i dress up to keep up the illusion that i have my shit together [interesting wording. have i heard it before?], maybe you can tell me a bit more about my future...!
erm, yes. sweetheart, do you read my private email, too!?!
....
before i creep into my wardrobe to have some serious talks about data protection with charlotte, maybe another sensual creature should bring all perceptions together & sum things up:
good summary, thanks. finally, someone predicts dramatic changes! as long as she doesn't refer to plastic surgery, and i don't look like her by the end of this new year, i promise: i work daily daily daily on being patient. patience is smth for guns n' roses, but not for me...but the more days pass, the more patient i am, actually.
...so is this all that can be said? of course not, but how can i find an appropriate transition to something that made the initially mentioned usualness vanish....?! because progress, development, expansion actually happens. forget all those videos above. after an exclusive interview last week, a whole radio feature from a lithuanian broadcast station concentrated onto the œuvre of MSK, did a street survey, researched for a suitable background soundtrack and produced the only true and real proof of growth: a program on friendship & love. not available through youtube, saved uniquely onto my desktop, otherwise the world would succumb to jealousy. but let me tell you about the voices of this very world:
i never thought i could freak out because of joy by hearing a broad texan idiom....
chuckle as my ears are spoilt with an irresistible sweet west coast accent....
tear my hair as i recognize who is spreading good vibrations for me...from arizona, from france, from GB...
fall into laughter as i realize whose famous voice is telling me to be the official catering service to a trademarked company...
feel so unbelievably much warmth by hearing that loved and trusted schwizzerdütsch...
smile energized like after a double espresso as i receive peaceful poetic preaches from my personal coffee god...
scream with laughter at flattering love declarations from montreal...
get dreamy eyes as i identify another canadian accent that sounds like maple syrup to my ears...
trample hysterically as i hear one of my favorite voices ever telling about her slovenian saudades....
and finally, burst into heavy tears as i hear that québécoise singing....again. hell yes. it still got the same k.o.-effect on me. *no words*
24 blissful minutes of telling me that i am anything but usual. assuring me that its worth celebrating my life - held, protected and surrounded by the most beautiful network of friends, whose energy threads run around the globe, making it a better place.
alienation and alter egos aside: most of you are regular guests of this theatre, most of you coming weekly from far away. on my birthday, i had the whole world at my place, which impended to burst because of all these positive vibes. whereas my 970 sqft might be too small to host all of you, my heart is definitely not....
there might be a san francisco in guatemala, cuba, and ecuador because of a technical website-malaise, you might think you enter this city by reading its place-name sign on a british jeans jacket, or find an equally named place in a viennese bathroom because of californian licence plates and papers from DMV, 1377 fell street. ljubljana is called laibach by some people, and can be reached in either 4 hours by car, or 2 days via post service. it might happen that people have twin brothers in canada, although no relative entered these grounds before, and poland can either be a country, an energy felt through voice mails, or a kissing style. sometimes a desert becomes a metropolis, and a couch becomes a home....
...after all, space is just a construct that gives the illusion that we are separate.
- you all rock my world -
as i often let music express what i think/feel, when my [english] words run out, i wish i could find the greatest song in the world to cherish all that appreciation i received. i couldn't cut down my gratefulness to just one single song, so this is just a tribute:
ps: special things are scarce, and often happen surprisingly. my reaction to surprises are similar to the old lady's : astonishment, red eyes, laughter. as much as i am gesticulating here linguistically in a jack blackian manner, i seem not to find the appropriate words for a reply.
"one and one make two, two and one make three....." probably its destiny.
but no "how to...be miriam"-entry. i'd never suggest anything like that, for your own safety.
but an entry about miriam, moi, me and my surrounding. and how i finally ended up speechless on my personal anniversary of still being alive [i of course always flirted with the figment of the imagination "live hard, die young with 27", like all big stars, until i found myself in a totalled car in the middle of the new zealandian pampa on april 16, 2007. fuck yeah, i'm alive!].
usually in advance to april 16: melancholic depressions in front of the philosophical mirror image: "who am i?!" is the question i ask, "no one with a social network which would keep her from thinking she's not worth being celebrated!" the expected answer.
each year, usually, i tend to multiply those futility thoughts about my existence with a struggle against my beliefs, the ones of an incoherent identity, and end up going to bed on april 15 with the question "what sense does life have, if i, apparently, always stay the same?!
shouldn't life be sort of a progress, development, expansion?" but as much as i grow, and i grew pretty tall so far!: there never seems much difference to the years when i didn't know of self-reflection and philosophical mirror images....
- and although not knowing of the power of representation then, i always liked to dress up and bewitch my surrounding...
- i still am the same bigmouth and brayer.
- every once in a while i end up with flowers in my hairs....
- and obviously, i never reacted differently to black rocks than undressing myself.
- for sure i always tended to give strange looks, esp. if i don't get proper food.
- although i changed the wheels, i still enjoy going for an occasional ride...
- and of course it's nothing new that i love both, music, and big poser shades to hide behind!
- my company never really changed, too: tripping away, mentally and physically, and thinking that somewhere beyond that horizon, mentally and geographically, lies the answer for a better future...
- and finally, with y'all being witnesses: i still enjoy writing, although my nose, yes, changed a lot.
now: is my nose really the only thing that changed over the years?
and, even more important: will it continue to be the only thing developing and expanding during another year in life? let's ask some serious professionals about progress, future, me. tell me, oracle, what do you see for the future of the progressive miriam?
well well KT. you tell me some interesting things. big career changes? - working on it. group efforts, hopes & wishes? - jaja. friends help my dreams come true? - i guess so! taking care of my health? - KT....you just don't know all what you are talking about. get a lesson about the real aries first!
right, esther, got it. not only you show how i like to take care of my health, but you know laughing is especially healthy. but let's ask another self-ironic person, salvatore, just to make sure...
...tennis, hoover dancing, scuba? i don't think you are talking about me, gigolo!
- i should rather trust those who don't eat roses, but prickles for dinner....
have we met before, miss charlotte? do you happen to live in my antique wardrobe [yes, my color is black, real black] by any chance?! and as you obviously secretly watch how i make myself look irresistibly stupid, and how i dress up to keep up the illusion that i have my shit together [interesting wording. have i heard it before?], maybe you can tell me a bit more about my future...!
erm, yes. sweetheart, do you read my private email, too!?!
....
before i creep into my wardrobe to have some serious talks about data protection with charlotte, maybe another sensual creature should bring all perceptions together & sum things up:
good summary, thanks. finally, someone predicts dramatic changes! as long as she doesn't refer to plastic surgery, and i don't look like her by the end of this new year, i promise: i work daily daily daily on being patient. patience is smth for guns n' roses, but not for me...but the more days pass, the more patient i am, actually.
...so is this all that can be said? of course not, but how can i find an appropriate transition to something that made the initially mentioned usualness vanish....?! because progress, development, expansion actually happens. forget all those videos above. after an exclusive interview last week, a whole radio feature from a lithuanian broadcast station concentrated onto the œuvre of MSK, did a street survey, researched for a suitable background soundtrack and produced the only true and real proof of growth: a program on friendship & love. not available through youtube, saved uniquely onto my desktop, otherwise the world would succumb to jealousy. but let me tell you about the voices of this very world:
i never thought i could freak out because of joy by hearing a broad texan idiom....
chuckle as my ears are spoilt with an irresistible sweet west coast accent....
tear my hair as i recognize who is spreading good vibrations for me...from arizona, from france, from GB...
fall into laughter as i realize whose famous voice is telling me to be the official catering service to a trademarked company...
feel so unbelievably much warmth by hearing that loved and trusted schwizzerdütsch...
smile energized like after a double espresso as i receive peaceful poetic preaches from my personal coffee god...
scream with laughter at flattering love declarations from montreal...
get dreamy eyes as i identify another canadian accent that sounds like maple syrup to my ears...
trample hysterically as i hear one of my favorite voices ever telling about her slovenian saudades....
and finally, burst into heavy tears as i hear that québécoise singing....again. hell yes. it still got the same k.o.-effect on me. *no words*
24 blissful minutes of telling me that i am anything but usual. assuring me that its worth celebrating my life - held, protected and surrounded by the most beautiful network of friends, whose energy threads run around the globe, making it a better place.
alienation and alter egos aside: most of you are regular guests of this theatre, most of you coming weekly from far away. on my birthday, i had the whole world at my place, which impended to burst because of all these positive vibes. whereas my 970 sqft might be too small to host all of you, my heart is definitely not....
there might be a san francisco in guatemala, cuba, and ecuador because of a technical website-malaise, you might think you enter this city by reading its place-name sign on a british jeans jacket, or find an equally named place in a viennese bathroom because of californian licence plates and papers from DMV, 1377 fell street. ljubljana is called laibach by some people, and can be reached in either 4 hours by car, or 2 days via post service. it might happen that people have twin brothers in canada, although no relative entered these grounds before, and poland can either be a country, an energy felt through voice mails, or a kissing style. sometimes a desert becomes a metropolis, and a couch becomes a home....
...after all, space is just a construct that gives the illusion that we are separate.
- you all rock my world -
as i often let music express what i think/feel, when my [english] words run out, i wish i could find the greatest song in the world to cherish all that appreciation i received. i couldn't cut down my gratefulness to just one single song, so this is just a tribute:
ps: special things are scarce, and often happen surprisingly. my reaction to surprises are similar to the old lady's : astonishment, red eyes, laughter. as much as i am gesticulating here linguistically in a jack blackian manner, i seem not to find the appropriate words for a reply.
"one and one make two, two and one make three....." probably its destiny.
mironja - 17. Apr, 18:23
