...didn't i write last week with idealistic assurance that i would avoid the tempting darkness?
- und ja, spring definitely nurtures my current passion for living, surviving.

like each year, my mood rises respectively to the increasing temperature. instead of blackening the skies, my darkness slowly changes from grey to blue....

- bored of paying horrendous bills for my sadness -
cheap entertainment i want, cheap entertainment i get. - cheerful? not yet.
i might be well/happy/having fun/blah as the temperature goes beyond 25°C. but at least now, as i hear the first beloved swallows sing [in their chanting a magic spell i hear, like a LP played backwards] at terrific 18°C, i open doors to madness, step into the limelight and cough loud:





...got the unsurprising answer to last week's open question:
raging in the light - simply more interesting for everyone [inc. myself]: losing cool in public, sharing my heat...! i would share my first icy cold cone of the year, too - harsh citrus flavors galore! - but hell yeah, it's alright to be mean [i, for one, might enjoy it actually, or forgive easily, not being a resentful person], i buy myself a second one, and only tease w/ a picture of the indulgence:






















no, i can't survive on ice cream.
yet i only survive on monologues. i scream "GIVE ME MORE LIGHT!", sick of the bastille of social graces, convinced that there is not only silence and me breaking through it, but a whole choir wanting the same: being it citrus flavors, being it southern sun, or, most probably: lunacy, as claimed concisely by the kills above.

....'cause it's boring to be straight, stupid to be sane....!

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postscriptum: waiting 10 days, just to read that i'm eating ice cream and blunt enough to paint it as significant act of resistant subjectivation?! - excusez-moi, but sunday didn't only turn clocks to summer time, but my mind too. the strengthening bright sun makes me run: finally with a tshirt only, ja!, and hormonally amok. strongly recommended, if not advised: change the rays of the computer screen for those of the sun...good bye, melatonin - welcome back, life...!